Alternatives

My sister, Robert, is a math major. She gets her kick off String Theory and plans to dive into investment banking after school. I would normally object to such an obviously silly job (um, hello, who even uses banks? she should be sensible and write poetry with me. it's lucrative and respectable) But she's a 6'1" blonde hotthing, so I can't fight her, and I admit she'll look shiny in a power suit.

still, even math majors get the blues (if they still comprehend color outside of pie charts, nerds)....


Me: School is a monster.
Robert: I know! I want to go live in the montain somewhere.
Me: Me too...i know! Let's move to amsterdam!
Robert: oh, yes, ok!
Me: We'll live in the mountains and sell grapefruits!
Robert: There's no grapefruits in Amsterdam.
me: that's the joy of it! we'll built a grapefruit greenhouse and sell them on the black market.
Robert: ok, and everyone will wonder where they came from...
Me: we'll have to inject them with Delicious. Your job is to make a chemical named Delicious that makes everything delicious. Delicious!
Robert: We could inject them with citric acid!
me: Uh...I'm pretty sure grapefruits already have that.


Then she explained to me how she had a sore brain from having to study and math majors have to think and english majors don't and then i told her I was going to punch her brain in the face and nevermind the whole damn grapefruit idea because she is a total jerk and maybe she should go eat a dividend and tell me its better than the real WORLD because thats what english majors have to know, bitch.